Fear Not

        With another Easter on the books, I find myself thinking about what I will be facing when Matt does come home. I'll be almost ready to retire with an adult child moving back in my house. There is always the possibility that he will find a job where he does his time in the halfway house, but that may also be close to home. 
           There are many things to get anxious about. Will he be able to find work? Can he move on independently with his life? Will I have to help retrain a man/child when I didn't do such a good job the first time around? 

            One thing I don't want to think about is the possibility of relapse. From what I've read, there is an extremely high rate of recidivism with the prison population. According to the National Institute for Justice, "Recidivism is one of the most fundamental concepts in criminal justice. It refers to a person's relapse into criminal behavior, often after the person receives sanctions or undergoes intervention for a previous crime. Recidivism is measured by criminal acts that resulted in rearrests, reconviction or return to prison with or without a new sentence during a three-year period following the prisoner's release." It's a scary fact to consider when the statistics say 76.8 % of released prisoners are rearrested before their third year anniversary of freedom. 
            When I think of how many times I've tried to lose weight without success or how many resolutions I've broken, it's impossible to have a peace in knowing he could be another statistic. AND YET I AM STILL HOPEFUL. I once took a quick study in discerning my God-given Spiritual gifts. Not our talents that we are born with, but the gifts God gives to believers to serve the Kingdom. My survey showed my greatest gift was faith. What kind of gift is that? Don't all believers have faith? 
            As I travel this journey called life, I am becoming more aware of just what having the gift of faith means. I find myself accepting things that many people search for years trying to find an answer. I often trust the Lord without even questioning why or how.

I remember a particular worrisome time when I first learned Matt would be serving his first year in a Federal maximum security prison. My mind became focused on the negative and the possibilities of what could happen to my son in prison. After a few weeks of being anxious and scared, I took to my knees in prayer. That little voice I heard in my head said, “I’m going to take care of Matt, you let me worry about the HOW.” From that point onward, I have tried to remain positive and let the Lord handle it. I have tried to remember all the times the Holy Bible says “Fear Not!” It sure helps me sleep better.

 I will continue to pray for Matt. I do not think his life has been spared so many times from sheer coincidence. He has a purpose, as we all do. My prayer now is that Matt will be reminded that the Lord has protected Him this far and He will protect him in the tough times ahead. I hope he, too, hears the tiny little voice that says “Fear Not, Matt.  I’m God. I got your back!”

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10