I love it
when God just hits you over the head with a message. It doesn’t happen often
but when it does you know it!
Last Friday
I received such a message. I have been struggling with the thought of retiring.
Change is always a scary thing. Like the old adage says, “better the devil you
know than the devil you don’t know.”
I had a
conversation during my break time that could have made me uncomfortable and
very nervous. Under other circumstances I could have taken the words as a
personal attack. They were brief and factual and true. Instead that quiet voice
in my mind, said “shut up and listen.” And I did just that.
A feeling of
peace immediately came over me as I began to listen with a new perspective. I
let the words fall on my ears and my heart as if they were coming from God
himself. And indeed they were.
I have been
fearful of what will come with my son’s release from prison. It is overwhelming to ponder all the
possibilities, both positive and negative.
All the thoughts combined with my uncertainty about retirement have left
me with many restless nights and sleepy days. Friday calmed countless fears.
I can say
with certainty that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I can
live on a retirement budget. I don’t know if I will be bored or busy or
burdened, but I do know it is time. It’s time to cast my fears on the Lord. It’s
time to trust Him with my next move. It’s time to let go of this phase of my
life and move on to the next.
I have been
through seasons of change before- a new career, a new baby, the death of my
parents- and I’ve made it through each phase with the ability to smile and look
back with a sense of peace. This phase feels a little different, though. There
is the underlying fear that retirement is the end of being a productive adult –
that nothing can be accomplished or achieved in those years between work and “the
inevitable.”
Matt is
concerned about starting a new life at 38, and I encourage him with optimistic
scenarios. J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the
first book of Lord of the Rings at 62. Noah Webster published his first dictionary at
66. John Glenn traveled into space at 77. Even I returned to school at 36 and
started a teaching career at 46. Now I
just need to be a living example for him to follow.
I read an article recently by a Dan
Waldschmidt entitled, “You’re Never Too Old to do Something Amazing.” In the
article he lists a notable achievement from different people beginning with age
1 up to age 100. Waldschmidt goes on to say “the secret to getting what you
want from life is understanding that what you do right now drives your future. You can put off doing what is
important, or you can start working on it right now. It’s never too late to do
something amazing. It’s never too early to start trying.”
I think I will take his advice.
