A Journal Entry from 2010

February 23, 2010

       I must write this before I forget. Matt had a court date today. I took off to go with him. Prayer has been sent up for this manchild for years but especially since the incidences of January 9, 2010. I have had a peace all along about his defense attorney. I knew he could not afford one and Joe and I did not have the money to pay for one, so he would be at the mercy of the court system. After listening to the message on Sunday I was more convinced than ever that God would work this out.

       Matt entered the court room and took a seat on the back row which is where the people go who do not have paid representation. He waited his turn and eased down the bench toward the magistrate who would assign an  attorney to the accused. I eased my way in and sat beside him.

     As he inched toward the woman who held his future in her hands, I still had a peace.  When it was his turn I could hear him whisper the details of his charges to the woman.  Apparently there had  been a mixup in the dates. This case had been grouped with the other robbery and possession charges. He explained how he had hoped to get this particular case dismissed. She said it would be in his best interest if one attorney handled all the cases and she would assign an attorney to him today. She commented about the seriousness of his charges and said she knew just the attorney he needed.

          As she was talking to Matt, an older, seasoned gentleman entered the courtroom. She immediately introduced him to Matt. She explained that these were some serious charges, to which the lawyer replied, "You know me, I handle serious cases all the time." He gave Matt his card and told him to call and set up an appointment.

         While Matt was signing the papers, I had a quick chance to ask the magistrate if he was a good attorney. Before I could explain she said, "You can pay all you want, but you will never find a better attorney. He is the best."  I asured her she was an answer to prayer and thanked her for the assignment.

          As we were leaving, we met her once again at the elevators. This time she introduced herself as Paula. She asked Matt to call her and make sure all the cases were together. I reminded her that she was an answer to prayer. I felt a wonderful moment of hope when she said, " I'll see you in court. We've got to get this boy straightened out."

        I don't know anything about the attorney, but just the fact that the magistrate would make a comment made me feel blessed. I could see God at work in that court room, with the magistrate and with the attorney. Joe said not to get too excited, keep an even keel, but he was not there to witness God at work. If I see glory,  I'm going to shout. Praise the Lord.

Another post by Joe

Whenever I talk to someone about my son in Federal Prison, I will usually end the conversation by saying, “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”  This isn’t a pandering statement or a cliché - it comes from the heart. I feel for anyone who has suffered through a loved one's addiction.  The pain, embarrassment, and humiliation cannot be put into words.  In our case, it was exacerbated when Matt was shot and then arrested. Trying to function was like trying to walk thru a vat of wet concrete.  Every step required an effort.  People went out of their way to avoid us.  In the grocery store I actually saw someone I knew turn and walk in the opposite direction.  I don’t think they were being cruel, I just think they didn’t know what to say.  Conversely, the comments section on AL.com gave a lot of mindless people a chance to say some incredibly hurtful things about my son.  (Sometimes I wonder how the internet would look if we had to use our actual name and address when we posted on forums). One of the most difficult things I faced was trying to explain to my relatives why this happened.  They could not comprehend it.  Honestly, neither could I.  

The one place of refuge we had was our church.  It was especially comforting to be with people who were (and are) supportive, empathetic, and non judgmental.   I’m still amazed that the day after Matt was shot and arrested an impromptu prayer service was attended by at least 2/3 of our congregation.

You may not face addiction or imprisonment of a loved one, but I can promise you that you will face a crisis in your life.  Without question, my one piece of advice to anyone in this situation is to lean on your church family, and if you don't have one, get one.  I'm sure people survive life crises without prayer, unconditional acceptance, and spiritual support, but I for one wouldn't want to.