We Have the Power

      Last week I experienced a breakthrough! Not one that anybody would notice, just me. Those who know me are familiar with the struggles I battle with my oldest son, Matt. He struggles with past experiences that often trigger bouts of explosive behavior which happen without warning. A single word, a strange look, a whispered comment can ignite a fire storm of gigantic proportions. These episodes are not only scary, but can be dangerous as well. I have seen Matt and his dad resort to a physical altercation from a simple disagreement. Granted, there have been times when there was a reason for the dispute, but most frequently they are brought on by simple misunderstandings.

      We had an altercation this past week. To be honest, I don’t even remember what it was about. I just figured it came from his PTSD, but it was a big one. Some of the time I am the focus of blame. Being a mom and a woman, I just want to “fix things.” I end up opening my mouth with suggestions, when a simple listening ear would suffice.

      The incident this week was particularly bothersome. I went to bed that night in a state of frustration and anxiety. What am I going to do with this 40-year-old adult man-child that is still trying to change? Will he ever get it? Will I always have to live this way?

      I managed to “think” my way to sleep. As expected, I was awakened at my normal 3:00 a.m. talk with the Lord. For at least the last 30 years, I have gotten up at that time of night. It may be for a rest room break or a glass of water, but I think it probably started with the nighttime feeding of my baby boys. I would rock them as I fed them and pray over them as I sang softly until they fell back to sleep. Whatever the reason, it has been my quiet time with the Lord.

      As I was sharing my complaints, I began to ask for help. What I am supposed to do? How can I take this conflict? I know it is not from the Lord because this type of behavior is not His nature. My God is a God of peace, and love. How do I make these arguments stop?

     That is when I heard that small inner voice I have heard so many times. This time it was convicting me. “You have been given the Resurrecting Power of Jesus Christ! Use it!” It was at that point that I felt a breakthrough. I knew exactly what I needed to do. I began to cry out, well, actually I whispered out since everyone was asleep.

      I raised my hands to the heavens and called on those evil powers that were attacking my family to leave. I claimed the Resurrection power of the Lord. I went from room to room whispering and praying. “In the name of Jesus Christ, leave my house, you demons of anger, demons of depression, demons of addiction. Any of the powers that oppress just get out!”

      Now, I am no Earnest Ainsley, but that night I was filled with the power. I took the Resurrection Power of Jesus Christ and I used that power to kick some behinds! Afterwards, as I settled back in bed, I had the most unbelievable sense of Peace, the Peace that passes all understanding.

      I am reminded of two passages that were both written by the apostle Paul and both reassure me of the power we have been given as children of God. The Greek word Paul uses for power is dynamis, the same root word for dynamite. We need to wake up and address our problems head on. We do not have to live in fear, we have been given the Power.

I pray that you will begin to understand how incredibly great His power is to help those who believe Him. It is that same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place of honor at God’s right hand in heaven. – Ephesians 1:19-20

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. --2Timothy 1:7

That Small Inner Voice

Sometimes I hear a story that just touches my heart. I heard one yesterday.

    I ran into a friend at the local grocery store. She looked exhausted. When I asked where she had been, she sighed and said, “I have just driven to Daphne and back.” After further questions, she explained that she and a friend had driven the 350 miles down to the south Alabama town to get some much-needed personal items for another friend then turned around and drove back.  Apparently, the friend from Daphne had come up to Birmingham to attend to some business and have lunch with the two Birmingham friends. They were all retired and had previously worked together for many years. That working relationship had led to a strong friendship and the three met whenever possible.

     On the morning of the lunch date the Daphne friend had called to say he could not make it, he had slipped in the shower of his hotel and broken his hip. He was at the hospital awaiting surgery. His two Birmingham friends did not even hesitate. After checking on him with the hospital staff and the doctors, the two headed to his hotel room to pack up his things and clean it out. Then they traveled together to his home in Daphne to retrieve what he needed for an extended stay in a rehabilitation facility while his hip mended.

    The Daphne friend had lost all of his immediate family and he had no children of his own. His Birmingham friends had stepped in just when he needed them. They were there by the grace of God, to help him in his time of extreme need. What an awesome testimony to love and friendship.

    I often question what it looks like to love someone, friend or enemy. If we are called to Love one another, just what does that look like? If I disagree with the ideas of others and feel strongly about my beliefs, how do I show the unconditional love of a generous God. How do I use my actions for His glory? The simple answer is, I don’t! I have to let the Holy Spirit take over in the situation. I can only let God work in me and through me supernaturally.

    If I listen to my inner thoughts, I am often amazed at what the Holy Spirt says to me. It’s not a loud voice from heaven, it’s not fire coming down from the sky. It is often a simple unexpected thought that pops in my head at the most inopportune moments, a thought that makes me say, “Where did that come from?”

   Recently I was questioning why God would allow a young woman whom I watched grow up and have children of her own make a conscious decision to change her sexual identity. I knew she was a true believer that Jesus was the Son of God who rose from the dead. I was there at her confession of faith that Jesus had died for all our sins, so why was she making this decision. That small little voice said this to me, “Just let me be the judge.  You know she is a believer, so maybe I have chosen her to meet others like her and tell them about my grace and mercy, to tell them about Jesus Christ. Who better than her to reach those like her because …..You sure aren’t going to try and reach them.”

    I was shocked! But it was true. That inner voice had just given me a slap in the face. Somehow, I felt a peace about me that was calming. I felt a release that I cannot explain knowing that I am not in charge of the salvation of others. My charge is to share my story of God’s grace as it applies to me, not judge the behavior of others. As an older believer, I can lead them and guide them in the truth but I must do so with compassion and calmness and direction from the Holy Spirit, guidance in Spirit and Truth. That, my friend, is true love and friendship.

   When my son was living at home awaiting his prison sentence, he developed MERSA from an infection. I remember thinking and praying that the authorities would show mercy and lighten his sentence since he could be a health risk. In the midst of my morning quiet time I heard that small voice say, “I’m going to protect Matt, you let me worry about the How!”  And the God who is Faithful and True did just that during his entire prison stay.

    A small voice, inaudible to the outside world but spoken loudly to my inner spirit. It resonates both in my head and in my heart.  It reassures and affirms. It comforts and convinces. It speaks the Truth and beckons me to listen. It has changed my life in so many ways. It continually forces me to relook at situations and see the good in people.

   Without a doubt those Birmingham friends heard a small voice telling them to go help a friend in need. That small voice is what directs us on when and how to love. So, the next time I face a difficult situation or a test of my patience and understanding, I pray that I can listen to that small voice and let God show me what to do. I pray I will continue to let Him handle the How!