Last week I
experienced a breakthrough! Not one that anybody would notice, just me. Those
who know me are familiar with the struggles I battle with my oldest son, Matt.
He struggles with past experiences that often trigger bouts of explosive
behavior which happen without warning. A single word, a strange look, a
whispered comment can ignite a fire storm of gigantic proportions. These
episodes are not only scary, but can be dangerous as well. I have seen Matt and
his dad resort to a physical altercation from a simple disagreement. Granted,
there have been times when there was a reason for the dispute, but most
frequently they are brought on by simple misunderstandings.
We had an
altercation this past week. To be honest, I don’t even remember what it was
about. I just figured it came from his PTSD, but it was a big one. Some of the
time I am the focus of blame. Being a mom and a woman, I just want to “fix
things.” I end up opening my mouth with suggestions, when a simple listening
ear would suffice.
The incident this week was particularly
bothersome. I went to bed that night in a state of frustration and anxiety.
What am I going to do with this 40-year-old adult man-child that is still
trying to change? Will he ever get it? Will I always have to live this way?
I managed to
“think” my way to sleep. As expected, I was awakened at my normal 3:00 a.m.
talk with the Lord. For at least the last 30 years, I have gotten up at that
time of night. It may be for a rest room break or a glass of water, but I think
it probably started with the nighttime feeding of my baby boys. I would rock
them as I fed them and pray over them as I sang softly until they fell back to
sleep. Whatever the reason, it has been my quiet time with the Lord.
As I was sharing
my complaints, I began to ask for help. What I am supposed to do? How can I
take this conflict? I know it is not from the Lord because this type of
behavior is not His nature. My God is a God of peace, and love. How do I make
these arguments stop?
That is when I
heard that small inner voice I have heard so many times. This time it was
convicting me. “You have been given the Resurrecting Power of Jesus Christ! Use
it!” It was at that point that I felt a breakthrough. I knew exactly what I needed
to do. I began to cry out, well, actually I whispered out since everyone was
asleep.
I raised my hands
to the heavens and called on those evil powers that were attacking my family to
leave. I claimed the Resurrection power of the Lord. I went from room to room
whispering and praying. “In the name of Jesus Christ, leave my house, you
demons of anger, demons of depression, demons of addiction. Any of the powers
that oppress just get out!”
Now, I am no
Earnest Ainsley, but that night I was filled with the power. I took the
Resurrection Power of Jesus Christ and I used that power to kick some behinds!
Afterwards, as I settled back in bed, I had the most unbelievable sense of
Peace, the Peace that passes all understanding.
I am reminded of two passages that were
both written by the apostle Paul and both reassure me of the power we have been
given as children of God. The Greek word Paul uses for power is dynamis,
the same root word for dynamite. We need to wake up and address our problems
head on. We do not have to live in fear, we have been given the Power.
I pray that you will begin to understand
how incredibly great His power is to help those who believe Him. It is that
same mighty power that raised Christ from the dead and seated Him in the place
of honor at God’s right hand in heaven. – Ephesians 1:19-20
For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power,
love, and self-discipline. --2Timothy 1:7
