Another post by Joe

Whenever I talk to someone about my son in Federal Prison, I will usually end the conversation by saying, “I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemy.”  This isn’t a pandering statement or a cliché - it comes from the heart. I feel for anyone who has suffered through a loved one's addiction.  The pain, embarrassment, and humiliation cannot be put into words.  In our case, it was exacerbated when Matt was shot and then arrested. Trying to function was like trying to walk thru a vat of wet concrete.  Every step required an effort.  People went out of their way to avoid us.  In the grocery store I actually saw someone I knew turn and walk in the opposite direction.  I don’t think they were being cruel, I just think they didn’t know what to say.  Conversely, the comments section on AL.com gave a lot of mindless people a chance to say some incredibly hurtful things about my son.  (Sometimes I wonder how the internet would look if we had to use our actual name and address when we posted on forums). One of the most difficult things I faced was trying to explain to my relatives why this happened.  They could not comprehend it.  Honestly, neither could I.  

The one place of refuge we had was our church.  It was especially comforting to be with people who were (and are) supportive, empathetic, and non judgmental.   I’m still amazed that the day after Matt was shot and arrested an impromptu prayer service was attended by at least 2/3 of our congregation.

You may not face addiction or imprisonment of a loved one, but I can promise you that you will face a crisis in your life.  Without question, my one piece of advice to anyone in this situation is to lean on your church family, and if you don't have one, get one.  I'm sure people survive life crises without prayer, unconditional acceptance, and spiritual support, but I for one wouldn't want to.