Christmas Joy!

      I am giddy about Christmas this year! I have no Christmas tree up, there are no presents wrapped, and most things have not even been ordered; but I feel an overwhelming joy this Christmas! I think it began on the Sunday after Thanksgiving when our minister asked the congregation to write down three things we were thankful for every day. She called it The 30 Day Challenge. What a wonderful exercise in self-reflection.

       As I begin to write I thought first of the obvious...my family, my church, my granddaughter. Our challenge was not to repeat what we were thankful for but to expand and observe how our list was woven together and connected to each other. We needed to start looking at the why and how of our thankfulness and not just make a list.

      When I was a child, I saw Christmas as a time to get things I had wished for throughout the year...that special toy, that new dress. As an adult I saw Christmas as a time to make up for things that we needed but had not gotten during the year... that new refrigerator, that microwave oven. Christmas is not about wants and needs. It's about love and giving. It's about thanksgiving. I feel that more than ever this Christmas!
       A few weeks back I received a message from a friend. She needed toys for her children this Christmas but had no idea where she would get them. I knew I could help a little but I couldn't provide the whole Christmas so I just began to pray. The very next day another friend asked if I knew anyone that needed help. I knew without a doubt God had heard my prayers. I was thankful to be an instrument of His love! What an awesome feeling of joy!
       Recently I attended a memorial service of a friend who had become very ill in the last few months. Rather than mourn his passing, his wife chose to celebrate his life with thanksgiving. It was only within the last few years that her husband had accepted Christ as his savior, something she had been praying about for over 40 years. Another awesome feeling of joy this Christmas!
       Yes, this is the first time I will have my family together in many years. No prison visit over the holidays, Matt will be joining us for Christmas dinner. Praise the Lord! But this season I seem to feel the blessings all around me. My joy is renewed each time I hear a story of hope or witness an act of love or thanksgiving.  And just to make sure I continue to feel the joy inside, God sent the most beautiful blanket of snow on an unexpected Friday in December! What an awesome feeling of joy! Merry Christmas, everyone!

Homecoming - Some Are Not So Happy

Only 17 more days until my son comes home. Seven years is a long time to sit and think about past mistakes. I guess that's why they call it "doing time," sort of an Adult Time-Out.  

It is my prayer that Matt has forgiven himself and asked God's forgiveness for his actions. I believe he has simply because he has a hope for the future. He's excited to be starting a real job and making a new life. I only hope he is patient enough to wait on directions from the Lord. He realizes how much of his life he has wasted and he's anxious to get it going on the right track. 

My son is one of the lucky ones. He's coming home to a loving family and a tremendous church family who has supported him through this whole ordeal. He has been blessed in so many ways. That is why I decided to write this blog. I wanted to share what God has done for me in the middle of such horrific circumstances. I wanted to send a word of encouragement to others in unimaginable situations.

Some prisoners are not so lucky. I want to share a recent  Facebook post from a friend of mine. I hope you read it. We need more Angels like her out there. After all, Jesus Christ asked us to be His hands and feet in the world we live in. Thank you, Jeanie Thomas Emblom, for your compassion and your actions. God Bless you!

So, I ran into my little man again at the Winn Dixie. The one that I got advil last time for because he was in pain. Seems , we have a relationship of few words and straight to the point. I stopped  (hesitating because I had so much to do and didn't want to be late to work.) I said "what do you need?" He said "I'm Hongry"(his pronunciation). I said "what do you want? "  "I don't care , I'm hongry". I was in a hurry, so I took a chance and gave him enough money to go to McDonald's and watched him slowly walk over there. As I was in Winn Dixie rushing around , I started thinking about how McDonald's was not very nutritious,  so I quickly  grabbed 3 bananas, some grapes, gatorade,  some chips and a brownie and ran to the checkout. Upon leaving the store, I circled McDonald's to see if I could find him and spotted him walking down a side road, burger in one hand and drink in the other and chased him down to give him his healthier food for later. When he saw me. He said" yous going to give me a ride? " Against my better judgement, I told him to hop in and drove him 5 miles to near his brothers house, where he stays. On the ride, I found out that his name was Joe and that he had just gotten out of prison after serving 22 years. I didn't ask him what he did to get himself into that mess, I don't want to know.  He had walked to the WD shopping Center to try to get a job. He has no social security, 19 dollars a week in food stamps and says his brother has more rules than prison. But he is confident that somehow he is going to get a break. He really , really wants any kind of job. Broke my heart and I cried all the home. 

Please pray for Joe. He made a very bad mistake over 20 years ago and really has not much hope. He's not young at all, probably in his sixties. So , if you see him at the Winn Dixie southside, be generous. He wears black glasses, skinny as a rail, and has something wrong with one of his eyes.

Pray that he finds an honest way to make a little money.  He's strong because he walks miles and miles every day.

Retirement Worries

      I love it when God just hits you over the head with a message. It doesn’t happen often but when it does you know it!

      Last Friday I received such a message. I have been struggling with the thought of retiring. Change is always a scary thing. Like the old adage says, “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.”

      I had a conversation during my break time that could have made me uncomfortable and very nervous. Under other circumstances I could have taken the words as a personal attack. They were brief and factual and true. Instead that quiet voice in my mind, said “shut up and listen.” And I did just that.

     A feeling of peace immediately came over me as I began to listen with a new perspective. I let the words fall on my ears and my heart as if they were coming from God himself. And indeed they were.

I have been fearful of what will come with my son’s release from prison.  It is overwhelming to ponder all the possibilities, both positive and negative.  All the thoughts combined with my uncertainty about retirement have left me with many restless nights and sleepy days. Friday calmed countless fears.

     I can say with certainty that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I can live on a retirement budget. I don’t know if I will be bored or busy or burdened, but I do know it is time. It’s time to cast my fears on the Lord. It’s time to trust Him with my next move. It’s time to let go of this phase of my life and move on to the next.

     I have been through seasons of change before- a new career, a new baby, the death of my parents- and I’ve made it through each phase with the ability to smile and look back with a sense of peace. This phase feels a little different, though. There is the underlying fear that retirement is the end of being a productive adult – that nothing can be accomplished or achieved in those years between work and “the inevitable.”

    Matt is concerned about starting a new life at 38, and I encourage him with optimistic scenarios.  J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the first book of Lord of the Rings at 62.  Noah Webster published his first dictionary at 66. John Glenn traveled into space at 77. Even I returned to school at 36 and started a teaching career at 46.  Now I just need to be a living example for him to follow.

     I read an article recently by a Dan Waldschmidt entitled, “You’re Never Too Old to do Something Amazing.” In the article he lists a notable achievement from different people beginning with age 1 up to age 100. Waldschmidt goes on to say “the secret to getting what you want from life is understanding that what you do right now drives your future. You can put off doing what is important, or you can start working on it right now. It’s never too late to do something amazing. It’s never too early to start trying.”

        I think I will take his advice.