Retirement Worries

      I love it when God just hits you over the head with a message. It doesn’t happen often but when it does you know it!

      Last Friday I received such a message. I have been struggling with the thought of retiring. Change is always a scary thing. Like the old adage says, “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t know.”

      I had a conversation during my break time that could have made me uncomfortable and very nervous. Under other circumstances I could have taken the words as a personal attack. They were brief and factual and true. Instead that quiet voice in my mind, said “shut up and listen.” And I did just that.

     A feeling of peace immediately came over me as I began to listen with a new perspective. I let the words fall on my ears and my heart as if they were coming from God himself. And indeed they were.

I have been fearful of what will come with my son’s release from prison.  It is overwhelming to ponder all the possibilities, both positive and negative.  All the thoughts combined with my uncertainty about retirement have left me with many restless nights and sleepy days. Friday calmed countless fears.

     I can say with certainty that I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if I can live on a retirement budget. I don’t know if I will be bored or busy or burdened, but I do know it is time. It’s time to cast my fears on the Lord. It’s time to trust Him with my next move. It’s time to let go of this phase of my life and move on to the next.

     I have been through seasons of change before- a new career, a new baby, the death of my parents- and I’ve made it through each phase with the ability to smile and look back with a sense of peace. This phase feels a little different, though. There is the underlying fear that retirement is the end of being a productive adult – that nothing can be accomplished or achieved in those years between work and “the inevitable.”

    Matt is concerned about starting a new life at 38, and I encourage him with optimistic scenarios.  J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the first book of Lord of the Rings at 62.  Noah Webster published his first dictionary at 66. John Glenn traveled into space at 77. Even I returned to school at 36 and started a teaching career at 46.  Now I just need to be a living example for him to follow.

     I read an article recently by a Dan Waldschmidt entitled, “You’re Never Too Old to do Something Amazing.” In the article he lists a notable achievement from different people beginning with age 1 up to age 100. Waldschmidt goes on to say “the secret to getting what you want from life is understanding that what you do right now drives your future. You can put off doing what is important, or you can start working on it right now. It’s never too late to do something amazing. It’s never too early to start trying.”

        I think I will take his advice.