Sunday, September 25, 2022

Chapter 13 - The Feds

 

      At the federal courthouse, Matt was officially charged for the pharmacy robberies. It was now the United States vs James Matthew Hobby. The first thing I did learn is that there were other services offered to a person charged with a federal crime. Matt was given a pre-trial officer who worked on his behalf in securing medical help. He was scheduled with a counselor and also allowed to return home with us, but this time he had to wear an ankle bracelet that tracked his whereabout at any given time. If he ever went out of range, even up the street or to the mailbox, the device would alert his officer. He had a short time to respond before the authorities were called.

     Matt was scheduled for a series of tests and given a court appointed attorney. Things moved much faster in federal court. Matt’s pre-trial probation officer was a really nice guy and Matt formed a close bond with Justin.

      Reality is not a fun when you are the target of a real-life drama that unfolds like a page-turning suspense novel. I thought I would wake up any day and this would be some kind of joke, but unfortunately, I was living this truth. My son had robbed a pharmacy for drugs and was facing a lot of prison time for his actions. I had raised him in the church and tried to be the best parent, but none of that mattered now. It was not my reputation on the line, it was his. He was a grown man, accountable for his own actions. I had done all that I could and I knew that I had.

      When Matt had come out of surgery that awful night in January, I had the strangest peace about the future. In those fifteen years of dealing with a drug addicted teenager, I had tried everything I could to control the situation. I had chased him to strange places, made phone calls, lied to teachers when I knew he should be at school. I had made excuses, taken him to meetings, tried to make him feel guilty, but NOTHING worked. I had finally learned that I could not change someone else, only the way I react to the situation. I had learned to work on me.

      His dad, on the other hand, had learned that he could only argue with me about how to handle things, so he eventually backed down. Sort of the fight and flight syndrome that I talked about earlier. It’s not that I was usurping his authority, it’s just that when I would pray about a situation sometimes, I would have a change of heart. When the incident happened, Joe began to ask himself what he could have done to change things. The answer to that question is nothing. Nothing he could have done would have changed Matt. Matt had to change Matt. My brother once said that Matt would stay clean, when staying clean was easier than staying high.  What words of wisdom he spoke!

         The concept of letting go is hard to grasp for some parents. We somehow feel responsible for the actions of our children. Truth is, our children are living, breathing souls with the same free-will God gives to every human being. They are their own person. Sure, we can lead them and guide them along the way, but they are accountable for their own actions. The only true thing we can do for them is pray for them. I remember a dear friend told me once that she just prayed that Jesus would take her boys “kicking and screaming.” She knew they would fight the Lord the whole way, but she wanted them to know Jesus whatever it took so she asked the Lord to knock them in the head if he had to but just take them!

    I found myself praying even harder in the Hugo Black Federal Courthouse!

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