At the federal courthouse, Matt was
officially charged for the pharmacy robberies. It was now the United States vs
James Matthew Hobby. The first thing I did learn is that there were other
services offered to a person charged with a federal crime. Matt was given a
pre-trial officer who worked on his behalf in securing medical help. He was
scheduled with a counselor and also allowed to return home with us, but this
time he had to wear an ankle bracelet that tracked his whereabout at any given
time. If he ever went out of range, even up the street or to the mailbox, the
device would alert his officer. He had a short time to respond before the
authorities were called.
Matt was scheduled for a series of tests
and given a court appointed attorney. Things moved much faster in federal
court. Matt’s pre-trial probation officer was a really nice guy and Matt formed
a close bond with Justin.
Reality is not a fun when you are the
target of a real-life drama that unfolds like a page-turning suspense novel. I
thought I would wake up any day and this would be some kind of joke, but unfortunately,
I was living this truth. My son had robbed a pharmacy for drugs and was facing
a lot of prison time for his actions. I had raised him in the church and tried
to be the best parent, but none of that mattered now. It was not my reputation on
the line, it was his. He was a grown man, accountable for his own actions. I
had done all that I could and I knew that I had.
When Matt had come out of surgery that awful
night in January, I had the strangest peace about the future. In those fifteen
years of dealing with a drug addicted teenager, I had tried everything I could
to control the situation. I had chased him to strange places, made phone calls,
lied to teachers when I knew he should be at school. I had made excuses, taken
him to meetings, tried to make him feel guilty, but NOTHING worked. I had
finally learned that I could not change someone else, only the way I react to
the situation. I had learned to work on me.
His dad, on the other hand, had learned
that he could only argue with me about how to handle things, so he eventually
backed down. Sort of the fight and flight syndrome that I talked about earlier.
It’s not that I was usurping his authority, it’s just that when I would pray
about a situation sometimes, I would have a change of heart. When the incident
happened, Joe began to ask himself what he could have done to change things.
The answer to that question is nothing. Nothing he could have done would have
changed Matt. Matt had to change Matt. My brother once said that Matt would
stay clean, when staying clean was easier than staying high. What words of wisdom he spoke!
The concept of letting go is hard to
grasp for some parents. We somehow feel responsible for the actions of our
children. Truth is, our children are living, breathing souls with the same
free-will God gives to every human being. They are their own person. Sure, we
can lead them and guide them along the way, but they are accountable for their
own actions. The only true thing we can do for them is pray for them. I
remember a dear friend told me once that she just prayed that Jesus would take
her boys “kicking and screaming.” She knew they would fight the Lord the whole
way, but she wanted them to know Jesus whatever it took so she asked the Lord
to knock them in the head if he had to but just take them!
I found myself praying even harder in the
Hugo Black Federal Courthouse!
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